Generated Title: Target's "Recovery" Plan: More Like a Slow-Motion Train Wreck?
Okay, so Target's earnings are out, and surprise, surprise, it's not exactly a ticker-tape parade. Comp sales down 2.7%, adjusted EPS taking a 4% hit? Give me a break. They're blaming "softness in discretionary categories." Translation: People ain't buying the crap they're pushing.
The "Investment-Heavy" Road to Nowhere
Morningstar—or charlie morningstar as the kids might search—is saying Target's "path to recovery remains investment-heavy and execution-dependent." Oh, so NOW they're admitting it's gonna cost them. Management wants to pump up capital spending in 2026, like 20% more than they originally thought. What's that gonna do? Probably just line the pockets of some consultant who'll tell them to put more succulents near the checkout.
And get this: store-originated sales are down almost 4%. Meaning people are actually going to the stores less. Traffic down 2.2% for the third straight quarter? You don't need an MBA to see that's a problem. Target Earnings: Weak Traffic Amid Tepid Consumer Spending Pinches Results They expect rising promotions to fix it. Newsflash: Slashing prices only works if people actually want what you're selling.
This whole thing reminds me of that time I tried to fix my old car with duct tape and a prayer. Sure, it looked like I was doing something, but underneath it all, the engine was still sputtering its last breaths.
The AI Savior? Don't Make Me Laugh
But wait, there's more! Target's new CEO (whoever that is) is apparently planning "the most sweeping assortment and store changes in a decade," all powered by AI. Artificial intelligence is going to sharpen merchandising and improve in-stocks? Seriously? Is this the same AI that can't even tell the difference between a cat and a dog in a blurry photo?
Let's be real: Slapping some AI on top of a fundamentally flawed business model is like putting lipstick on a pig. It might look a little prettier for a minute, but it's still a pig. And what if Lucifer—not lucifer morningstar hazbin hotel—but the actual devil himself was in charge of this "AI"? Then what?
They're saying this AI will "stabilize market share." What market share? The one they've been hemorrhaging for the past year?
The Stock's a Steal? I'm Not Buying It
Morningstar—or the morningstar index, maybe—still thinks Target's worth $118 a share and calls it a "25% discount." Okay, charlie morningstar, whatever you say. Shares are already down over 35% this year, underperforming the entire damn consumer defensive index. And they dropped another 3% on this news! People are clearly losing faith, and honestly, I can't blame them.
They're upping their fiscal 2026 capital spending forecast. Why? Because they screwed up big time and need to spend even MORE money to maybe, possibly, perhaps get back to where they were before. It's like digging yourself into a hole and then buying a bigger shovel.
I mean, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe this AI-powered makeover will actually work. Maybe Target will become the hottest retail destination on the planet. But let's be real, that ain't happening. Ain't.
So, What's the Real Story?
Target's trying to sell us a "recovery" story, but all I see is a company flailing around, desperately throwing money at problems they created themselves. This ain't a comeback; it's a slow-motion train wreck.